Just an average woman

There is a woman who forgets she’s not a girl. Not because she acts her shoe size, but because she feels the people who know her best won’t let her grow up.

In elementary and middle school she was a dancer – until she injured both knees. She is genuinely surprised at her appearance when she looks in the mirror; she still expects to see a skinny dancer looking back at her.

In high school she was secretly popular – she felt invisible yet everyone knew who she was. She was a singer – a good one. She had dreams of being a pop star, but feared the stage. She told her teachers she wanted to go to college to teach music, but inside she felt she didn’t have any direction.

She believes in the best in everyone she meets, a trait that led to her whirlwind marriage and subsequent divorce. She believes she cannot love or trust again, so she keeps any men who wish to court her at arms length.

She says “yes” to as many activities as her schedule allows so that she can temporarily forget how lonely she is as a single woman, but she’ll tell anyone who asks that she’s perfectly happy.

She is a talented piano player, yet is embarrased when anyone finds out, for fear of them asking her to play something.

She saved the life of a man she didn’t know in an attempt at gaining redemption for a sin she committed. She both fears that the world will find out about her sin and wishes she could just tell everyone so that it will not weigh on her anymore.

She daydreams about a talent agent discovering her at her favorite karaoke spot and whisking her away to Hollywood to record albums.

At times she feels she is being watched by everyone, like The Truman Show, but she knows that she is no one special. Her story is no different than anyone else out in the world struggling to feel human, to feel unique, to feel loved.

She is just an average woman.

You can read Michelle’s personal blog here.